Delusions
Delusional blog post about The Career Aptitude Test, techno music, and ghost hunting.
Culture - The Career Aptitude Test
This week, I was asked, “Why do you like to write?”
We used to have these things called The Guidance Counselor and they were for the kids who were in trouble a lot, poor, or had some other kind of issue that I couldn’t understand as a kid. I wanted to understand why these kids got to go sit in a different room on a big comfy couch. I thought they were lucky.
My mom drove me to school every morning. I wasn’t cutting myself. I ate. I guess I had it lucky enough to not have to go talk with The Guidance Counselor. I felt incredibly left out.
Every day I saw the The Guidance Counselor walking throughout the hallways, teleporting through secret passageways, and talking to the kids I thought she liked. I thought she didn’t like me. I was undeserving. I wanted an adult who I could be cool with, be myself with. I was supposed to already have that, elsewhere. I don’t know if that’s who they were to those kids, but that’s how it seemed.
The only time I remember talking to The Guidance Counselor was when it was time to take The Career Aptitude Test.
The Career Aptitude Test would tell me what my life was going to be like. It was going to tell me that I indeed was going to become an archeologist like my hero at the time, Indiana Jones. It didn’t.
Author - It told me. Author? Seriously? What kind of nerd shit is that?? - Was how 12 year old me reacted.
And that is why I like to write.
Music - Techno
I’ve been exploring music genres that I used to think were cringe. I’m finding that the feeling of cringe has ruined my life in many ways in which I’m trying to refurbish. I allow myself to not care if other people cringe.
Really, it’s cringe to cringe; a paradox that knowing cringe is cringe.
Techno, Jungle, Breakbeat - Is so much fun to listen to and pretend you’re having a dance party in your head when in reality you’re sitting at a bench stripping wires. I’ve recently gotten obsessed with watching DJ sets online (on the famous video website which shall not be named (named YouTube)) and while I’m certain that part of my enjoyment of these videos is that I’m choosing the videos with the most gorgeous and sexiest DJs. (A coworker recommended that I search “DJ Big Rack” to find good DJ sets (He might be one of the most sane people I’ve ever met and/or interacted with. (He always wears the same green pants and green jacket to work, sometimes putting on another green jacket overtop the first green jacket. I’ve (maybe creepily) noticed that he almost never uses the bathroom. And I think I will ask him if he’d like to be interviewed for this blog.))) My favorite techno DJ so far is Andre Dancekowski. A close second is Nikolina. They are both excellent.
At work we have this little TV that we take turns playing music from while we work. We started watching livestreams and playbacks of livestreams of techno DJ sets from a place in Berlin called “Hoer” or “Hor”1 I’m not really sure which is correct or if either is more correct than the other. It’s this white little tile room that my coworkers and I refer to as “the bathroom” or “the techno tile room”. I love it. I want to visit it. I’ve never left America. I love techno.
Sports - Ghost Hunting
Every night this past week I’ve gotten drunk and tried making a techno beat using my Korg Volca Sample 2 (image 4) but I’ve also been playing this ghost hunting video game with Jackson, Ben, Graham, The Chloes, and sometimes others. It’s fun. I enjoy hunting ghosts and I miss doing it in real life. There are many a times when I’ve been pretty sure that I succesfully witnessed a ghost while on a hunt. The abandoned hospital, the demon dog, the graveyard on Appalachian State’s campus, and my childhood home have all shown me things that I could only explain as the work of ghosts. In the ghost hunting video game we get to use in-game technology to try and figure out what kind of ghost is haunting a house.
I wish I had some of that technology for real life ghost hunts.
Does anyone want to go ghost hunting with me sometime soon? It’s cold out now but that might add to the ghosts abilities, or something, it seems like ghosts would prefer the cold, but that’s based on my knowledge from TV and movies, or maybe it’s not that the ghosts prefer cold, but that they create the cold. I’m not really sure.
https://www.hoer.live/